Beating myself up, stress and self compassion..

Beating myself up.

This act of beating myself up, doesn’t always consist of a round of negative thoughts, although sometimes it does.  Often it’s a feeling. It’s a self-critical and harsh feeling. It   feels like a ferocious participant in an inner fight, it’s got the boxing gloves on while the other opponent trembles.

My Inner Critic sounds like a psychological cliché but it feels like a fitting phrase.  Through therapy, Mindfulness practice and reading a lot,  I’ve learnt to become more aware of this critic.  I am sometimes able to question it (me) with gentleness and compassion. Sometimes I can feel my inner world soften and respond, which is quite a beautiful feeling.

Of course I still beat myself up! I’m not always aware, especially when things are difficult. I still struggle with stressful situations. When I should be bathing in self compassion and eating healthy foods to counteract the stress, I still find myself gorging on doughnuts, beating myself up and doing the opposite of what helps,  Ironic! But I think I am getting a little bit better.

I read the book ‘Stop Beating Yourself up and leave insecurity behind’ by Kristin Neff – It’s about Self Compassion. It’s one of the most helpful books I have ever read.

Thank you for reading x

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