Resilience

Resilience is something of a constant on-off meditation. I’ve had to think about what resilience means? Being resilient makes me happy: I said recently to a friend:

“There is no such thing as adversity.”

Yes, I live from that more and more, a very resilient thought creating joy for me and others?

“There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way”

The Dalai Lama.

We have to be very mindful, because there is no belief system of absoluteness, in mindfulness, or Buddhism. If you have the neigbours from hell then move; conditions are important, but only as important as you make them.

I was a ‘depressive’/ ‘despairive’/despairer’, although I do not now have disabling or clinical depression, as I have basically recovered, my friends will be relieved to know. This recovery took me many years. In those years I despaired of ever healing and recovering. However apart from good friends, two things really helped me change my life, ‘gainst the ground-hog days we all suffer indeed:

Buddhist practices including meditation; there is contemplation to induce the practice of wisdom-compassion in your life, but at least 5 other practices. However.meditation alone will not change your life.

Therapy and counselling. I count them as the same difference as unlike certain therapist and counsellors, they argue over very little and the prime focus should be the clients needs to heal, not professional intellectual differences!

And my acquaintances too:  I mustn’t forget the latter for a very simple reason: every source of support is necessary to overcome the low self esteem behind mania and depression, or any other form of self-defined distress. Both are Jungian overcompensations for something denied and that something is low self esteem or more graphically self hatred.

I will say again one needs a massive support system to overcome even mild depression, moderate despair or the worst manic and suicidal despair depression.

We need to be extremely mindful, aware and kind to ourselves, and others in order to overcome the worst in ourselves and make the best of the rest of our lives. The only point about being mindfullly-aware is to develop the insights for you to be compassionate yourselves, and to others.

Despair depression and other mental ‘illnesses’ are deeply ground into being-karma, so the medicine must be strong, varied and penetrate to our unconscious depths. This allows integration of horrible and repressed demons, our worst fears and doubts and to overcome the fear of freedom from neurosis. But as I once discovered if we don’t watch it it can kill us. Neurosis and psychosis killed my dad and brother many years ago, and deep mental pain, anguish can make life not worth living. If we fully recognise these realities and talk to our friends, nurture friends who earn trust, then slowly we can recover with consistent practice of recovery techniques, invented or not, over time.

Mindfulness (being in the mo-ment, enjoying life, being efficient, being joyful, but not driven, etc.) also makes one very aware in ones home garden, bus or wherever of one body in a relaxed yoga like fashion. In fact just taking 5 percent reduction of my high speed mania, helped, or adding 5 per cent to lift myself from despair pits worked. Tis the middle way, not foolish ground-hog day overcompensation.

I cannot value therapy/counselling, Buddhist practices, or friends over and above one another. In a sense the telling thing is they are all friends, OK a professional listener was paid by me as an exception, but if you feel it is merely about the money, then be firm with your counsellor or therapist (search this website for more on talking listening treatments counselling and psychotherapy).

The Buddha said ”Do the wholesome. Do the wholesome always.”

Conclusions:  For people with disabling despair, depression anxiety-neurosis, psychosis, or people with distress,  it is important to look after yourself by asking for help (there’s a future blog of this title coming soon), by nurturing self insight/ self help, asking friends and therapists for help, but don’t be exploited by any unethical ‘friends’ or therapists .

Stick with the bad-weather friends, and genuine people – those who will stick by you in thick and thin. And who love you even for your faults, which they see as amusing and delightful and charming. Those who nurture you and love you.

You can recover. Indeed. It is totally true – even the worst cases can transform their lives to contentment happiness and a greater kindness.
You can change.
But you need self insight and to ask for help so sharing, and halving your problems.
You need to stop the Ground-hog Days of unconscious addictive karmas, and if you fall back into despair anxiety and mistakes; that’s OK there’s no such thing as failure only feedback.
Create a massive support network
Be happy,  that’s the only point of living after all, without harming others through anger, drugs, battles, resentments, verbal darts – in fact cultivate the opposite of these weeds of the mind. Please cultivate the lotuses and sunflowers of our lives. For the rest of our lives.

If you want to learn mindfulness for resilience, more humour and more joy and wisdom in your life, please leave a message on this post, or e-mail us at Leeds Wellbeing Web.

or google leeds buddhist centre or mindfulness or buddhist centres leeds u.k.

Enjoy your life, I lick the lid of life.

Milan Buddha Ghosh

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More Poetry from ‘Mad’ (i.e. a True Individual) Milan, otherwise affectionately known as ”trouble”;

Please Come to Leeds Survivors Poetry, if you fancy writing poetry

You never know, you might even enjoy it, but you won’t know if you don’t try!

If you are fed up or not or bored, give yourself a chance of more happiness,
by Being Unpredictable in a creative sense, and try somat new.
Why not suck it and see?

Introduction:

M. Ghosh was asked by Shahid Sardar of Diverse MINDS to write a poem for their magazine,

also called diverse minds

On the governments Women’s Mental Health Strategy 2005

Promoting choice, empowerment and self-determination

There is a cruel world and there is much suffering

Part of this is the disgrace, the sorry side of the human race.

Part of this is gender oppression, in other words a full recession of both female and male in society, and more depression.

In particular, in vernacular or common parlance the ordinary woman doesn’t stand a chance.

Of equality, solidarity, choice, the excruciating pain of not having a voice.

Yet in our heart of hearts we all know, women foremost, but some men too sexism is so unnecessary.

Gender oppression what does it mean? What is the best way to say, to reflect the pain of women’s dejected, collective soul.

Well here’s my guess: many things like a young girl’s or woman’s mind and voice constantly devalued. Her intelligence too. There’s rape, sexual abuse, domestic violence: my mother and I were beaten for 15 years. There’s so much words can’t say experience is the greatest teacher as Khalil Gibran a Sufi, Muslim prophet said.

I was an advocate on the wards for 6 years. Women told me of rape, physical and mental abuse, forced dependency into despair, depression and ECT. Yes women get the most ECT. Then there were rapes on the wards by other patients, and staff too, well they’re mad they made it up didn’t they!?

All these horrific things are real, true and repeated; that’s how patriarchy and racism become routine accepted, invincible, the oppressor makes you feel there is no possibility at all to repeal what seems like a law of the universe but yet which is literally ‘man -made.’

And so I repeat we can defeat we can and will defeat gender inequality.

With struggle, collectivity, unity, solidarity, empathy, empowerment choice.

With allies too there’s no need to be blue.

With this and half the battle has been won, the struggle for the positive begins, the struggle for positives: self esteem: personal and political, for the personal is political, for women, feminists, mental health service users and survivors who I prefer to call 9 – livers.

To reiterate, from the negative battle of getting rid of the power of men comes the positive alternative: self-determination of a community, a whole nation in fact.

With positivity in image, in mind we can be free, not victims living like animals cowing in terror, living a dog’s life. With positive social support: nurseries, work crèches and more specific mental health services and refuges, with respite, most carers are guess what… women. With the respect that comes from confident self-help in mental health or mutual support groups of whatever kind, with the respect, grudging or not, that comes with education with anti- domestic, anti -rape pro -women and pro- humanity laws!

The weeping sores can heal, the archetypal woman shall rise into the skies

She will feel alive as never before. Believe me anything, ‘owt as they say in Yorkshire is possible

Value women’s strength ability and potential

Value women’s strength ability and potential!

Value your allies. Value not only white Western women and feminism, but Black, Asian and ethnic women and womanism.

Choose, choose (!) to learn to repeal the past never, never allow your womanhood to be put last again.

For I really do believe freedom once tasted does establish, though 2 steps back and 1 fore…… does adhere. Can you see – but can you hear?

Value women’s strength ability and potential

Value women’s strength ability and potential!!

P.S. If you would like to write poetry beginner learner, starter you can always start something new.
you are FREE EE EE to write poetry at  Leeds Survivors Poetry

1st and 3rd Fridays of each month at
Leeds Civic Hall      Leeds LS1 1UR

The LSP Workshops for March 2015 are:
DATES FOR YOUR DIARY:
Fridays 6th and 20th
at 545pm – 745pm
LSP  Workshops for April:
Fridays 3rd and 17th

LSP Workshops for May
Fridays 1st and 15th

Please contact Tez via his blogs and this website. He’s happy to answer any questions you have.

It’s therapeutic, it’s good; it can uplift your mood, even save your life; art and poetry with mediation, good diet and therapy saved my life along with all the other good friends and wholesome practices in life

Is there anyone out there who could you, would you, help Terry Simpson advertise LSP  Workshops, suggest any workshops to publicise  LSP for free?

Continuing poetry as therapy theme, changing with the seasons too- ah! tis the spring of awakening life.

Sunday 1st March 2015
It’s a cold wet sunday on the first of March 2015, time of changes, of Spring, of live green shoots, verdant green, air wind sometimes cold, sometimes warm and breezy.of increasing eves..of birds returning and flying beginning to breed, mates, of freedom re-membering a time of seasonal change, like my emotions: colourful, sometimes cold and inert, most going forth from winter into summer, in the in between month of March.
But do eat your greeens and livelong, longlife you and everyone, to see another Marching on March to joyful Spring and Summer sky blues.
Celebrate for it is life! Breathe deeper.
Published in April 1994:
Kiss
Crocus books Milan Ghosh’s poems in this anthology of Asian, African-Caribean ‘ethnic’ Love Poems: Rika, 8am,Emense.
”Underneath the ashes was buried all desire”
Mr Chatterjee
Rika January 1983
Rika* can you hear me
For my soul is about to leave you
Yet it grieves for you
Like trees for the summer sun
For everything is cold now and bitter,
With the mourning of Summer’s end
And my hopes like the dove are only the things of love
Which fly gracefully,
For a moment in time that is all too short,
Then land gently
As leaves from trees
On a still Autumn day
To decay
In the cool valley of the past that will never come back.
The last two lines were the inspiration for the poem and are by Herman Hess. *Pronounced like Erica without the’E’; Rika is a Swedish name.

She was my 3rd girlfriend, at age 16 years, I knew
little about life, I was so young and naïve and very, very timid. Rika was 33 years old incredibly beautiful and kind to me, but age and experience meant we split up. I never forgot her kindness and gentleness, her nurturing listening, however. Never and forever
 shall i forget her.

Poetry as Therapeutic Healing by Milan Buddha Ghosh

I wrote this 2 months ago in freezing February. I enjoyed writing it – it only took 10 minutes to do so.

Thanks for the summer God
was there something I missed?
It’s so bloody cold and freezing now, and the POW has gone out of my life
winter blues;
and whites, I don’t like snow.
Thanks for the Summer God
I’m not blessed or blissed, just messed up.
Summer skies, summer sky blue and Sunday, lots of children laughing
natures jackdaws fields and fun.
Yes, thanks for the summer gone, God
there was definitely something I missed.
A ‘taste’ of nirvanas would do not the thing itself
the whole shanghai, if you will allow.
Yes, the now and POW and power of now has definitely been missed, omissed, omitted
My hope is pitted.
The autumn has long gone.
The brown leaves torn from trees in bitter, soulful wind
ripped away the summer’s warmth
yes, god,
all those leaves all those new griefs of SAD
have long ago decayed.
My optimism has been tried and tested, frayed.
rotten and stupid and brown and smelly is reality.
stormy greenhouse effects gales that DRAG on you, are like a wall of air
yes, brown, smelly black leaves and dog-shit
dropped leaves recycled until next May…
My co-author in cultural studies, Dr Helen Graham, said my poem was ” not bitter but wistul. Correct.
I liked writing it, it was therapeutic release and subtle humour, that prevented depression

She is one of the most positive lifeloving, life enhancing  people I know

Copyright Milan Buddha Ghosh January 2015
Poems (C)opyrighted and Commissioned)

Art is life, life is art. it releases, lessens at the least the end of strife.
And brings in pleasurable insight just for yooo oo oo!!

Asking for Help: Only you can benefit, and your friends and everyone who cares about you….

Milan Buddha Ghosh

Asking for help is something I find very difficult, and I know it is really necessary for my well-being.

Because of 17 years of domestic violence, racism at school, and mentalism, the bigotry against the ‘partly’ or so-called mad-folk, who can be just as individual as others. We are all valuable individuals who need help at times.
By definition we suffer as human beings, and we can learn to be happier, much happier.

We all know that it can not only be terribly difficult to help ourselves by asking for help. But also even terrifying, at times. You see, when you’ve been beaten for years called ‘Paki’ etc. go home trust is a hard thing to allow. It is hard to pick up the phone, even when you choose the mostly trustworthy people and friends, or kind strangers.

However the good news is it gets better, by fits and starts and uneven journeying, over the years. And many people do say how much I’ve changed. They usually say you changed so much.” If I prompt them further with questions they say
”you’re much happier, lighter even more playful than you were before, fitter” etc.
So the good news is that just like exercising a muscle, wholesome practices reduces the fears anxieties resistances to asking for help.

A problem shared is a problem halved; and I’m sure many of us could for our own benefit, no ones else’s, practice sharing our problems in hard times. Likewise we can mutually coach each other in sharing problems and processing them, with love understanding and inspiration.

Sharing our burdens – that’s why we ask for help isn’t it?
And somewhere deep down inside we know we are OK, that others are OK, although we may well have to steer clear of, b**tards, robbers, rapists, thieves and a host of other foolish people who become as bad as their practising harm, or evil even. You see human character or personality is not set in stone what the mind dwells on it becomes, another solar rule of karma is how we behave what we do becomes us.
We create our own lives with our actions, thoughts and good or bad thoughts about others.
If we understand this, then
There really is no permanent depression, despair or anxiety hearing voices, eating disorders or any other forms of distress, because primarily, karma means ”with our thoughts we make the world, our suffering or happiness. Karma means ‘choice fir the good’
So, if you have been told you are of a certain mental health diagnoses for life, or incorrigible or incurable – well, it is total NONSENSE.

Terry Simpson is a great activist in many health positive circles.
He said to me years ago when I was low ”Create a massive support network.
Last January when I was low, but my lows have got further and farther apart, he said ”Don’t let anxiety run away with you, its an unrealistic fear Milan”(I’m paraphrasing him). He said also ”Be like a peasant ” my paraphrase when it all goes upsides down and you’re down pick yourself up dust yourself down and start all over again.
And I know many friends coach each other out of the blues and horrible anxieties, even out of hearing voices, or befriending them, and paranoid and aggressive alienated bits of ourselves that are voices.

I can vividly remember about 12 years ago, when I realised it was better to ring 1 friend a day rather than not. Or I would be down and have horrible anxiety for the rest of my life. it was a moment of presence-truth. Whatever mood I was in high, low, neutral, numb, dissatisfied or satisfied. Tony Lawson was one of the friends I rang, and Terry. I soon realised and felt like a fool for the depressed past, because no one refused help. People thought of me as a really nice man, more or less unanimously. They even expressed admiration for my humour my vulnerability and hearts openness, speaking my mind and body e.g. warming up floors spontaneity. I was SHOCKED in a nice way. It made me feel lighter, a bit more unburdened more playful and joyful serious-er too at times, but in a contemplative way which allowed deeper insights. My mental knots were untangling. My life transformed. Later on I became a Buddhist.

So, yes we sometimes ask for help without words we just turn up at art groups (see my blogs re Buddhism, Chat N Create and Inkwell interview with ark ruse and the recently posted poem call A Pint of Inkwell. You don’t have to talk, but just do something good which you enjoy, if catharsis or therapeutic talking is not your style.

Others sources of help
leeedswelbeingblog
mental health websites min.org. http://www.leedsmind.org.uk
Please post your self help groups, fave counsellors, business cards only or NHS giving their consented info, please share about anything that has helped you ask for help, on leedswellbeingblog – your voice on keeping well in Leeds.
That’s what leedwellbeingweb is for – USE US!

Self Help Empathic Conclusions – or, you are worth helping, suicidal, in horrible anxiety, sad, or happy or whatever state of mind
So, yes it is hard really hard, even terrifying to ask for help and support, but no one can force us to ask.
Nor should they. We don’t need pressure. We need good listening by friends and to use them more, and v,v.
Asking for help started by assuming from friends, but asking for help is about any source of support encouragement and nurturing, not just friends, although good friends do save live and symbolically whatever our mood we are uplifted by a good friends listening.

Use any source of help. Here’s part of my creative massive support system. Why massive dya tink?

Allotment gardening, home gardening enables wholesome healthy contemplation, solving problems, taking in the air nature is my friend and I ask it for help, the birds, bees trees, foxes, insect. I’m an organic gardener. No man-made polluting chemicals, leaving polluting residues and killing wildlife. Doing art poetry: writing performance and blogs. dancing
When someone is dumping stuff I draw up a boundary and say ”You are better than your shadow voices dumping aggressive depression irritability on me. You are strong and happy if you use your friends expect less, and do more of the things that make you happy without harming others. If you want an ear, i’m all ears, but abuse is not part of my territory. Friendship is”

You can be more content and less conflicted and unhappy, and it needs you to self help by asking for help. Does that sound grim; it aint! I have never regretted asking for help. OK, sometimes people rejected me or were cruel, but most of all I realise vis the experience of asking friends for support, getting more person-centred counselling, going to art writing groups and that there was little to fear. I learnt even more out of the halving of problems to choose carefully in future to reduce the chances of those false friends and bad places that caused me distress I am so happy and calmer more often and less hypo-mania. I don’t regret it

one final thought, yes ask for help, and create options for creative loving and living,
BUT please don’t expect people to listen above what is realistic: empathy whether natural of untrained friends or helpers, is not mind reading. Empathy is not mind-reading – a title of a future blog of mine
peace, friendship and love.
Please share your own experiences of asking for help, as we know isolation at least doubles distress; please share the good things you learnt from exercising the courage to get help.
Thank you.

Luncheon at the Boating Party by August Renoir

My personal impressions of Renoir’s masterpiece… Milan Buddha Ghosh

Contemplating art, literature and cultural forms and norms, brings me intellectual insight, joy, pleasure, gratitude, wisdom, is meditation, is connection to self, friends, the world of art reflecting life, and life itself… contemplating, digesting arts meanings is all these things and more

Again, salvaged from a bin-yard. This painting is now rather faded because of age, it is pink grey and blues they appear to be other on a boat parked at the rivers brushy, bushy edge or at a riverside café. There are 6 gentlemen and 6 gentle-ladies, looking v mellow and summery. One around the table loaded with elegant wine bottles, fulsome, dark red grapes, and wineglasses, and interestingly, the women are all looking upwards and aside, with subtle joy. Only one woman is looking at a gentleman; they all appear to be middle-class of the Victorian era. One man wears a top hat. And

To me, it is about a day off work, not off life!

It is about rest and relaxation and people enjoying each others intimacy of friendship and conversation. There is definitely an erotic fondness between various men and women in the picture, the lovely search for love and the hope for it, despite its cost. Ah! Wistfully I say to me and you. In the right side of the picture one woman eyes are wine-mellowed and fond as she looks up to the face of a confident fond-eyed man, the fond eyes of love. It is a very romantic painting. And we know Renoir loved women, perhaps a little too much, like Salvador Dali he sexploited ‘his’ women the women he portrayed; sadly they treated them too much as sex object’arts – even whilst from Woman’s Hours inn radio 4, women discussing this, conceded to each other these sexobjects’art colluded in that exploitation, out of love, lust and admiration (human beings are complex massivley like reality). The heat is all around them on the French Riviera. It is classic August Renoir. I have had to smudge layers of dust off this ole fave pic, which I became to familiar with by contempt. But I discovered it recreating presence of moment and meaning, as I’m sure Renoir intended. I moved from concept – or story of life – back to experience, or presence. And this what art does it renews us, and recreates us, whether when contemplating alone, or with friends or strangers. It inspires our intellect and … heart. Arts ‘gets’ us where it counts; it reduces isolation in our suffering, like the yearning I, and many others, have to experience love with a soul-mate including, intellectual and erotic love, true companionship ion life. But since the art reflecting life – in this case Renoir’s Luncheon at the Boating Party, is not merely in our introspection neurotically intellectual mind, we experience, space, freedom, maybe enlightenment. The Buddha said no one could become enlightened without art/aesthetics or forgiveness for that matter, and art sometimes had double themes on forgiveness and the art of the erotic, including being badly hurt by ‘lovers’.

Asking for Help: Only you can benefit, well, and your friends and everyone who cares about you

Milan Buddha Ghosh

Asking for help is something I find very difficult, and I know it is really necessary for my well-being.

Because of 17 years of domestic violence, racism at school, and mentalism, the bigotry against the ‘partly’ or so-called mad-folk, who can be just as individual as others. We are all valuable individuals who need help at times.
By definition we suffer as human beings, and we can learn to be happier much happier

we all know that it can not only be terribly difficult to help ourselves by asking for help. But also even terrifying, at times. You see, when you’ve been beaten for years called ‘Paki’ etc. go home trust is a hard thing to allow. It is hard to pick up the phone, even when you choose the mostly trustworthy people and friends, or kind strangers.

However the good news is it gets better, by fits and starts and uneven journeying, over the years. And many people do say how much I’ve changed. They usually say you changed so much.” if I prompt them further with questions they say you’re much happier, lighter even more playful than you were before, fitter” etc. So the good news is that just like exercising a muscle practice reduces the fears anxieties resistances to asking for help.

A problem shared is a problem halved; and I’m sure many of us could for our own benefit, no ones else’s, practice sharing our problems in hard times. Likewise we can mutually coach each other in sharing problems and processing them, with love understanding and inspiration.
That’s why we ask for help isn’t it?
And somewhere deep down inside we know we are OK, that others are OK, although we may well have to steer clear of a host of people who become as bad as their practising harm or evil even. You see human character or personality is not set in stone what the mind dwells on it becomes, another solar rule of karma is how we behave what we do becomes us. We create our own lives with our actions, thoughts and good or bad thoughts about others.
If we understand this, then
There really is no permanent depression, despair or anxiety hearing voices, eating disorders or any other forms of distress.
So if you have been told you are of a certain mental health diagnoses for life, or incorrigible or incurable – well, it is total NONSENSE.

Terry Simpson is a great activist in many health positive circles
he said to me years ago when I was low ”Create a massive support network.
Last January when I was low, but my lows have got further and farther apart, he said ”Don’t let anxiety run away with you, its an unrealistic fear Milan”(, I’m paraphrasing him). He said also ”Be like a peasant ” my paraphrase when it all goes upsides down and you’re down pick yourself up dust yourself down and start all over again.
And I know many friends coach each other out of the blues and horrible anxieties even out of hearing voices, and paranoid and aggressive alienated bits of ourselves that are voices.

I can vividly remember about 12 years ago, when I realised it was better to ring 1 friend a day rather than not. Or I would be down and have horrible anxiety for the rest of my life. it was a moment of presence-truth. Whatever mood I was in high, low, neutral, numb, dissatisfied or satisfied. Tony Lawson was one of the friends I rang and Terry. I soon realised and felt like a fool for the depressed past, because no one refused help. People thought of me as a really nice man, more or less unanimously. They even expressed admiration for my humour my vulnerability and hearts openness, speaking my mind and body e.g. warming up floors spontaneity. I was SHOCKED in a nice way. It made me feel lighter, a bit more unburdened more playful and joyful serious-er too at times, but in a contemplative way which allowed deeper insights. My mental knots were untangling. My life transformed. Later on I became a Buddhist.

So yes we sometimes ask for help without words we just turn up at art groups (see my blogs re Buddhism, Chat N Create and Inkwell interview with ark ruse and the recently posted poem call A Pint of Inkwell.

Others sources of help
leeedswelbeingblog
mental health websites min.org. http://www.leedsmind.org.uk
Please post your self help groups, fave counsellors, business cards only or NHS giving their consented info, please share about anything that has helped you ask for help
that’s what leedwellbeingweb is for – USE US!