Coming out of Lockdown, a double-edged sword.

We have our roadmap, the schools have opened, we can meet another person for a picnic, there is even a bit of sunshine energising the crocuses and daffodils which have sprouted in Meanwood Park, so why do I feel anxious about the return to ‘normal’?

During this last year I have spent much time at home, sometimes feeling okay, sometimes quite happy, sometimes not so great and sometimes floundering in a hole without the helping hand of optimism to pull me out. So the return of spring and the promise of bars, shops, hairdressers and holidays should provide that helping hand. But if the truth be known, for me, lockdown did take some pressure away, big life decisions could wait for a while and the amount of decisions I needed to make on a daily basis were reduced. The world had slowed down and part of me slowed down too, less options and choices had a remarkably peaceful affect on my brain.

I am remembering the rush-hour traffic on Otley Road prior to the pandemic? Wasn’t it crazy? What a contrast was spring of 2020, the traffic flow barely existent and the bird song, loud and clear. Though the traffic has slowly built back up it is yet to reach the weary polluting-pumping proportions of before. Remember those bus journeys?

Part of me wants my freedom back, to visit York for a day, drink a latte in a café and to visit friends. I hope to take small steps and come out of lockdown at my own pace, steadily.

I know I won’t be the only one who feels apprehensive after a year of living a different kind of life, and yet I know others may well be raring to go. How do you feel?

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