Living on my own

Reblogged from Hello from me to you:

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'Sometimes I feel I'm gonna break down and cry, so lonely Nowhere to go, nothing to do with my time I get lonely, so lonely, living on my own.

Sometimes I feel I'm always walking too fast  And everything is coming down on me down on me  I go crazy oh so crazy living on my own'

Living on my own - Queen…

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HELEN SUMS UP SO WELL THE DILEMMA OF BEING HUMAN, JUGGLING OUR NEEDS AND WANTS, always a pleasure to read...oh and I know a good place for waffle.in Leeds..the type with cream!...accompanied by cool retro vibe ..2 nr UoL campus one near bus station ..Cafe Rand http://www.coffeerandleeds.co.uk/

THE ART OF STARTING #1

 

I am a procrastinator, a ruminator and a Terminator – one of those may not be entirely true. It seems that I am not alone (re: the first two -inators). An August 2012 article on procrastination, posted by the BBC news website, garnered enough response from readers to warrant a second article entitled “Reader’s Tales of Epic Time-Wasting“. Here, people from all over the UK took time out of their busy schedules to share their experiences of taking time out of their busy schedules to engage in activities of low priority rather than those of more importance. I, of course, read both of these articles, while attempting to start my first blog post (‘The Art of Starting‘) for The Wellbeing Web.

It’s now May 2013 – I may have procrastinated a little.

Part of this aversion to starting is that I’m plagued by a destructive perfectionism – a fear of falling short of my potential. Panic sets in when I attempt to start something new. I fear that I don’t know Everything so my ignorance will be obvious as soon as I begin. I know logically that I can’t know everything; even the brightest minds are mainly concerned with a specialist subject, unable to answer questions outside of their field. Who am I to think that I can attain the allusive “perfection” that I know, rationally, does not exist? I guess, it’s control that I am grasping for, when things can seem so chaotic. If I just knew a little more, maybe I’d understand how to live more effectively, more efficiently? It seems that I want to feel whole and complete before I can live life to the full. The problem here, though, is that I never feel quite ready and it’s difficult to learn more by standing still, stagnating. I’m always waiting for something. I’m always banking on an unforeseeable (and possibly none-existent) future event that will allow me to actualise – to become The Real Me. If I could just… get there. Just… start.

I always want to get things clear in my mind before I begin. Nothing is ever clear, that is, except for the fact that clarity will only come from starting. Actually, until I finished that sentence, even that mini revelation was blurry.

I drive myself mad!

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As I write, the green tick on my trainers is prompting me to Just Do It. Easier said than done Nike, it’s not like I haven’t heard all the other slogans… all the other sayings…

A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step (Lao Ze)

Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved before.

No time like the present.

Then there’s Fake It ’til You Make It.

I don’t like the idea of faking anything! I want to be transparent and ask questions, grow and develop! I know, for myself that there is no “making it” as I intend to continue moving, questioning and learning as long as I am able. I do, however, live with the seemingly unscratchable itch of perfectionism, which haults starting in the first place. I’d really like to resolve this.

The present now will later be past (Bob Dylan)

Thanks Bob.

It’s important to take the plunge, to make mistakes, to risk imperfection. Risk being yourself – warts and all! Start a blog, try that course, cook something new. You and everyone else on earth are fallible but your contribution is worthwhile, however small.

I’d like to invite you on my journey of learning how to start. I stalled writing this post as I wanted it to be the definative blog post on “starting”, no further reading necessary.

This post is so saturated in irony…

This is the start of something much bigger but that’s all it needed to be for now… It might not be perfect but I took the first step, please feel free to come along.

More to come, try stopping me.

Christian

Adult learners Week – FREE COURSES at Swarthmore, for everyone. Wed 22nd & Thur 23rd May.

The fabulous Swarthmore Education Centre is hosting an Adult Learning week, on the 22nd and 23rd May from 11 am - 2 pm   The courses are open to everybody and are FREE!!!!!!!

Courses include French/Spanish conversation, Sign Language, Hand drumming, Herbalism and Printing!

There are so many benefits from taking community courses – some of which include: Having fun, meeting new people, increasing confidence, generating new ideas, preventing isolation, trying something new, having a creative outlet and the list goes on….

For more information contact Swarthmore on 0113 2432210.

Swarthmore Education Centre,  2-7 Woodhouse Square, Leeds LS7 1AD

More Trouble with Dr Jessen

Reblogged from The Not So Big Society:

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A few weeks ago I blogged about getting twitterstormed by Dr Christian Jessen, presenter of the TV shows Embarrassing Bodies and Supersize vs Superskinny, after I asked him to be a bit more polite when talking to an eating disorder survivor. One problem with Twitter is the way a one-on-one argument can quickly be turned into a public affair simply by retweeting or by sticking text in front of somebody's @ ID, thereby inviting any passerby to pile-in.

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HOW CAUTIOUS SHOULD WE BE IN SHARING PRIVATE INFORMATION ON BLOGS, FACEBOOK AND TWITTER? Reminder how to safe guard well-being when using them

How Facebook can distort things, the illusion of transparency.

I have found out that it is a good idea to take Facebook with a pinch of salt. 

This evening I met an old friend who lives ‘Darn Sarf’  she’d been for a meeting  ’Oop North!’

Before I met her, I felt a little hesitant.  She was successful, had a family and had a lot more money than me.  I worried about my situation, what would she think of me?  My stress bucket felt full.  But, as old friends do – she managed to put me at ease within a short time.  We had a quick bite to eat and a chat, and I think that I learned a valuable lesson.

To give you a bit of background: In the weeks previous to meeting her, I’d been flicking around Facebook.  I’d been comparing myself to others.  All I could see was happiness radiating through the screen, children’s parties full of joy, new jobs, happy marriages, houses by the sea, horse riding in New Zealand, people living life to the full….you get the picture!

However as we chatted it became clear that some of these images were a little bit of an illusion.  It’s not to say that people didn’t have happiness in their lives, but there were also problems and stressors.  She told me about going through a period of depression and how difficult it was.  It’s well reported that one in four people are affected by mental health problems, but do one in four Facebook profiles show that?   We chatted about this and we summarised that most people do not talk about their problems on Facebook.  (although of course some people do.)

Whilst it may seem that there is a new sense of transparency when using Social Media, how much of this is an illusion.  Does Facebook distort reality?

The moral of the story, we concluded;  is the grass isn’t always (that much) greener on the other side!

Smiley Face by Creative Commons Licence from Enokson’s Flickr Page.

A heartwarming story, sometimes is the perfect antidote..

‘ The little white dog showed incredible determination…’

I believe it’s important to share our stories in order to make vital changes in the world, to learn from others,  to share understanding and to promote action if needed.

However I think this includes happy and light-hearted stories, the sweet things that make this world such a wonderful place.

So I had a little bit of a flick around the Internet and found this heart warming story from China (okay it’s not Leeds.)  I thought I’d share it…

We are always looking for guest posts, do you have any heart warming stories or good news to share?

Slow Art

The Stanley and Audrey Burton Gallery at Leeds University is well worth a look. It’s very easy to find – just go up the steps of the Parkinson Building at Leeds University, the big white building that’s visible from just about anywhere in Leeds, go through the revolving doors and the gallery is just to your left. They have a permanent collection there which is interesting, including a painting of Whitelocks bar which was used by the BBC for a recent programme about poetry in Leeds, (which you have just two days to listen to on iPlayer!!). There is always also a temporary collection – at the moment it’s Jewish Artists in Yorkshire. There’s lots of Jacob Kramer, who gave his name to our local art college, and some paintings by Joash Woodrow, who caused something of a sensation after his death in 2006 when a thousand art works were found at his home in Chapeltown, where he’d lived as a recluse after having a breakdown in the 1950s. My favourite from this exhibition was a large piece by Gillian Singer – 49 panels of photographs and other images of Jewish family life – it takes a whole wall so you don’t really get the effect from my photograph of the postcard!

This Saturday there’s a special event at the Gallery. I’ll let the gallery publicity explain in its own words: “It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see. This month’s motto is borrowed from Henry David Thoreau and the Slow Art Movement who put it on their banner. What is ‘Slow Art’? The movement believes that when people look at art slowly, they make discoveries. By looking closely, you won’t require an expert to explain things to you. Slow Art unlocks your own creativity and passion for art!
Slow Art Day this Saturday, 27 April 2013, asks everyone to visit an art gallery to look at art slowly. Look at just 5 artworks for 10 minutes each, and see what happens. Get some friends together, and discuss your findings over lunch! Or join us for ‘Linger Longer’ – the only official Slow Art Day activity in Leeds!
Just in time for these contemplative exercises, the Gallery has plenty for you to feast your eyes upon. Our new exhibition ‘Jewish Artists in Yorkshire’ reveals and celebrates treasures by artists of Jewish heritage, in honour of the Leeds Jewish community’s 150th anniversary celebrations. We’ve got lovely artists’ books from Herbert Read’s collection still on display until this weekend. And of course, all kinds of events, exploring topics as diverse as ‘The Paradox of the Modern Jewish Artist’ to making puppets!”