Please Don’t Take Things To Heart

Image for Milan's post Nov 2014

We ‘depressives’ are prone to taking what others say too seriously. And if taking what they say too seriously flips us into depression, then it’s just not worth it.

Those who are prone to despair, for whatever reason, I give the short label ‘depressives’; I am not an advocate of psychiatry. It is just a convenient label.

I could call us ‘despairives’ but it doesn’t feel right, so I am stuck with the term depressive. By this term I mean all those who may be doctor-labelled depressives: acute, chronic, bipolar, those ”with some mood disorder”, as I have been labelled.

But back to the main point: it is simply not worth it to take what people say too seriously, whatever it is, if it triggers a period of gloom.

Why do I say this?

Well because most people who say whatever we don’t like, or can’t cope with or who say something hurtful actually mean the opposite. They want to help. The few that don’t should be ignored, because if we take on board their unhelpful, even cruel intentions, then we are fools who suffer periods of doom and gloom. And how many times have we had those dark periods triggered? Is it really worth it. No!

Having said all that, I do know it is not easy to not take offence sometimes. I also know these things people say that trigger our periods of despair can be skilfully ignored more often in future. They can, in fact be totally ignored at some point, when we have enough of the right insights, for our own character. In other words we do not have to suffer so much, and we can never again, be driven by what others say. Our happiness cannot in the end depend on others.

A part of these two latter healthier responses, not reactions of despair, is to own our part in the matter. It takes two to tango, karmically, and we don’t have to take the bait by swallowing whole, or in part, what others say. If we can own how we take offence, whether it is meant or not, we can do the opposite. We can respond in a way that is healthy, whether people mean offence or not, and most don’t! For instance, doctors: GP or psychiatrists may not have the understandings or sayings that help me, but I take their good intentions, and skilfully sidestep the un-useful content.

I have sidestepped the boulder of such triggers more and more over the years, because otherwise I realise I would have wasted more time in despair-land.

In tandem with this I have focussed more on the friends who can and do help me more, and persisted more in communicating with them, however difficult that enterprise of deep communication may be. I hope you will do this and thus be kinder to yourselves, and have more well-being in your life.

(See also “For Better Mental Health, Cultivate Friendship” on this blog)

Milan Buddha Ghosh

LEEDS TREK 2014

Leeds Trek 2014 Flyer UpdatedAIM EDUCATION

AIM Education is a not for profit organisation which has been set up to create opportunities to overcome inequalities and enrich the local Leeds community. This weekend and extending over both Saturday 22nd and Sunday 23rd November they have organised Trek 2014, you can follow the groups activities on Facebook here. The route encircles the entire boundary of Leeds.

You can cheer them along on their trek or follow their Twitter updates along the way @LeedsTrek2014 they start at 7.00am at Leeds Sport Centre on Saturday morning returning there by 2.30pm on Sunday via Roundhay Park,Thorner, Harewood House, Otley, Burley in Wharfdale, Ilkley. Guiseley, Horsforth, Headingley, Kirstall, Rodley,Pudsey,Farnley, Morley,Belle Isle, Barwick in Elmet and Temple Newsam….phew! BEST OF LUCK TO EVERYONE! Sponsorship and donations are welcome.

AIM Education have promised to take photos of the event and share them with us in the near future.

Sekabo book launch

SEKABO

Chase away any late Autumnal blues by transporting yourself to Scarborough

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for some thrills  2097 style, when it has now become SEKABO, a Provence of China!

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The rather risque lifestyle of one of its family dynasties is uncovered, and the technological advancement of ‘e-spexs’ has become a novel aid to the wellbeing of it’s octogenarian residents, and others who were once preserved cryonically.

You may never view Scarborough in quite the same way again.

The novel is to be presented by its author, Richard Woolley at a FREE book launch  on

Tuesday November 25th 7.15p.m.

at HEART – (Headingley Enterprise and Arts Centre) Bennett Road, LS6

Refreshments will be on sale in the centre’s cafe.

The author of Sekabo, Richard Woolley has lived both in exotic and local locations. Headingley and Hong Kong are exotic, as is Sekabo. Richard’s experiences at home and abroad, together with his varied and fascinating work in the arts, are sure to make this an animated book launch. An event not to be missed.

The event is  part of  Headingley LitFest’s  ‘Between the Lines series, with another planned for the 8th December, ‘Dinner with Decameron’ for details of this see here

 Headingley LitFest

Something  else for the future…….in the Spring of 2015 is the Headingley Literary Festival, the organisers of which are busy planning more events for your enjoyment. Look out for the programme due to be published in January of the New Year.

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A little bit of culture does you good

Leeds Grand

What does the word ‘culture’ mean to you?  Art galleries? Museums? To me, it has always sounded a bit posh, and something that I’m not part of.

At last year’s Love Arts Festival, I was involved in some research with the University of Leeds which aimed to look at culture and what it means to us.  It got me thinking.

Maybe culture wasn’t something high-brow and elitist.  Maybe it was something I was involved in already.  At the time I was taking art classes, joining in with the Central Library’s creative writing group annual collection of short stories, in a choir, and making beaded jewellery.  That’s all culture, right?  And I’d be going to the cinema, had a museum visit with the writers’ group, an art gallery visit with my painting class, as well as all the visits and events with Love Arts.
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Five: A Black History Month Event at Leeds Art Gallery

Jude Woods is Assistant Community Curator at Leeds Art Gallery and I heard her speak at a recent meeting of the local arts group Scattered Leaves, where she talked about her work encouraging people who don’t usually go to art galleries to come in and see what there is on display. I didn’t need persuading since I’ve always thought free access to art is a brilliant thing to have in any city. Jude promised to write us a piece about her work for this blog in the near future, but in the meantime sent details of what looks to be a very interesting event coming up, combining art and social history, on December 1st.

One of the speakers, Carol Sorhaindo, worked for Leeds Mind’s community art project, and has run stalls selling her fabulous art work at Inkwell Summer events, so her perspective on ‘art from a post colonial perspective’ will be particularly interesting.

Five Black History Month

‘Innermost’ exhibition preview

Inkwell Studio Artists

…..extend you a warm invitation to the preview of :their exhibition entitled:

INNERMOST

which is an exhibition showcasing a diverse mixture of ceramics, painting, drawing and installation, themed around the idea of the innermost: what is beneath, under and within.

The preview will be held on Friday 14th Nov 6pm – 8pm

it will be an occasion to meet the artists, have the first opportunity to view, or indeed purchase art.

The exhibition will continue until 19th December during Inkwell’s opening hours. contact details and directions are found here

 

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Highlights

If you haven’t already seen Highlights, the “dazzling annual showcase of artwork by members of Arts & Minds”, you now only have until Sunday, and you’ll really miss something if you don’t see it. The quote in the previous sentence is from the blurb in the Love Arts programme, but it’s really not an exaggeration. This is an extraordinary collection - very varied, in terms of the type of image on display, with photography, straight and manipulated; pencil drawings; paintings abstract and realistic, ranging from the fantastical to simple images of domestic pets and other animals; scenes of gritty urban life and idyllic scenes of nature - but all generally of a really high standard, at least as far as I could tell, as a lay person who likes to look at such things.

One of the artists, local poet Liz Helliwell, has already blogged about the opening last Wednesday – see  http://www.lizhelliwell.co.uk/2014/10/light-fantastic/ for her take.

I’ve put a few examples below to whet your appetitie, but they are really rather random – I liked so much of this collection that I’d have had to photograph most of it to give a true reflection. The Light is open from 6 a.m. to 12.30 a,m, daily, and the exhibition is staffed during the day. It’s free and the brochure says:. “Just turn up”. I would.

 

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The images above are Royal Park School, by Jill Setterington; A Daydream by the Water’s Edge, by Ian Gill; Villification by Liz Helliwell; Veiled Garden by Amanda Burton; and Divine Mystery by Patrick Hanratty.